Something To Be Thankful For

A few months ago I received an email from a perfect stranger inviting me on a four-day trip to a Mexican resort for a networking event called the Summit Series. The purpose of the event was to gather the most influential people under the age of 35 so that they could forge relationships, foster ideas, and generally enjoy the company of like-minded people - like a younger version of TED. It sounded moderately interesting, although slightly dubious.

In the email, I was told that my friend Sarah Lacy would be among the attendees. I direct messaged Sarah on Twitter to verify this fact and she confirmed. So I bit the bullet, bought a plane ticket, and didn't think much more about it for two months. When I boarded the plane Thursday, however, I started to worry. I had very little information about the other attendees, the agenda, or the legitimacy of the event. Why was I doing this again? Oh yeah, Mexico. If someone invites you to Mexico, it is generally considered the sane thing to accept.

When we arrived, I was greeted by the event coordinator and two other attendees, both of whom I knew to be legitimately successful entrepreneurs. In looking over the booklet of attendees, my fears began to be allayed. There were indeed some impressive people scheduled to attend from all over the country: founders, CEOs, and executives from companies such as Blackboard, News Corp, Sling Media, The Onion, Stumbledpon, Zappos, Napster, DailyCandy, and more. But when I arrived at the welcome dinner, I started to feel worried once again.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your perspective) I was one of only eight women in a group of 60 attendees. I suppose most single women would not complain about being stuck at a Mexican resort with 52 successful men and I certainly am not but I do wish that my gender was more well represented because I know for a fact that there are many worthy female entrepreneurs who could have benefited from this event. Furthermore, nearly one third of the women did not even work in businesses that were relevant to the businesses of the male attendees. I worried that the women may have been chosen as token amusement for the men who were there to legitimately do business. I certainly wanted no part of that if that were the case. I spent the first night staying close to Sarah and my friend and colleague Caroline McCarthy of News.com. But then the Mexican beach air started to chill me out and I decided to stop worrying so much and just enjoy the trip for whatever it would turn out to be.

It turned out to be great! On Friday morning, I participated in something called a "shoe drop." I didn't know what that meant when I agreed to it but I don't generally turn down events that involve shoes.

A man named Blake Mycoskie led the expedition on behalf of his company, TOMS Shoes. Blake founded the company in 2006 with the intention of giving away shoes to children in need. For every pair of shoes sold on the web site, another pair is given away to children in developing nations.

On the outskirts of Cancun, there are thousands of children who live in pretty severe poverty. We traveled by bus to a school where hundreds of children were waiting for us to arrive to distribute their brand new pair of shoes.

"Mira los gringos!" yelled one group of boys as we piled out of our buses. I won't lie, that hurt. I marched over to the group to make sure that they knew that I am a Hispanic and would not take kindly to be called a gringo. I don't mind admitting, that group of boys became my little fan club. "Estas bonita..." one of them said while sitting next to me on a crate after the shoe distribution. Still got it!

I feel the need to point out the irony in my participation in a shoe drop. I don't see shoes as a basic need. I see them as a vice. They are the one thing that I purchase shamelessly with my expendable income. I own close to 70 pairs (but who's counting?). Yet here I was sitting on a crate helping to size the feet of small children who most likely have never owned a new pair of shoes. Most of their shoes were old and falling apart, much like their clothes and book bags. Several of the children were quite dirty and very shy. I even got a whiff of an intensely poopy diaper as I bent over to size one little girl. It broke my heart.



The students and teachers were so grateful for the shoes that they gave us hand-written thank you cards in Spanish. I didn't feel like I had done anything to merit a thank you card. I hadn't bought the shoes. I didn't even understand the premise when I got on the bus. It was a heartbreak to pile back into our shuttles and ride back to our luxury resort.

The next day, we were treated to a presentation by a very inspiration man named Scott Harrison. Scott founded an organization called Charity: Water based on his volunteer work in Africa. Two years ago, Scott spent time in Africa, helping to document dire medical needs. He learned that most of the severe tumors and diseases that the locals were suffering from was a direct result of contaminated water. He started Charity: Water with the intent of building wells in African villages where children were drinking from the same leach-invested streams as their livestock. The images he showed were sobering (and no I wasn't drunk). To date, Scott has raised $7 million and has organized 890 water projects in 13 developing countries. These projects will provide clean and safe drinking water to over 400,000 people.

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Scott and Blake are truly innovative philanthropists. I will be showcasing highlights from each of their events (shot on the new Flip MinoHD) in Loaded this Wednesday, which I think will be exceptionally appropriate timing, given that it will be a time when we are all thinking about gratitude.

Admittedly, the trip was not all about good deed doing. I met people with whom I legitimately want to continue professional relationships with and I made some new friends who live in New York, and goodness knows I could use more of those. Plus, I simply had a great time unwinding my wound-up self. I most definitely behaved myself but I also enjoyed the pleasures of Mexico in eating, reading, sunning, dancing, and napping. I needed it!

As I repack my unpacked bags for Thanksgiving week, which will include travel to San Francisco, my uber-serious turkey-making ritual, my sister's wedding, and CNET's fourth annual Holiday Help Desk, I wanted to stop to write this blog post so that I forced myself to feel a little gratitude. I'm grateful to be heading home to see my family and I'm grateful that we will have the simplest amenities such as shoes and water during our holiday. I'm also grateful to have had the chance to be a Summit Series guest. I'm really glad that I stopped being so uptight about my expectations. I will definitely consider participating in future events, although I sincerely hope the gender ratio improves. My mother would contend that I shouldn't but in all honesty, I really do.

Happy Thanksgiving, dear reader. Use your technology for good this holiday season!

Blogging Goggles, Or The Lack Thereof

I did a news segment this morning on the CBS Early Show about Google's new Mail Goggles feature. You can watch it here. It got me thinking that WordPress should have a similar tool for blogging because I sometimes find myself writing posts when I am overly introspective. If I had it my way, WordPress Goggles would look a little something like this:

Hi Natali. You are in danger of posting something overly personal and transparent. Given that you are prone to emotional diarrhea, please answer the following questions before we allow you to publish:

1. Have you cried in the last 24 hours?
2. Have you been overly needy for your mother lately?
3. Will this post embarrass you in a few days/weeks/months?
4. Are you hoping anyone in particular will see/read this?
5. Are you sitting next to a glass of red wine and a plate of artisan cheeses?

If the answer to any of these questions is "Yes," you may not publish this post. Turn off your computer and your phone, wash off your face mask, and go to sleep. You may reconsider this post tomorrow morning after a large glass of orange juice and some peanut butter toast.

Too bad this feature does not exist because I actually can answer yes to a few of the above questions right now. Additionally, I've been up since 4 a.m. and worked this morning. I can't nap because my sister and her fiancé are sleeping in my bed since they arrived at 6 a.m. on a red-eye flight from San Francisco. I'm lying on my hardwood floor wearing my Dr. Dre headphones and listening to Donna DeLory. I'm about to wax introspective again so I'll just blame it on the lack of goggles.

I was sitting in the makeup chair this morning on the Early Show set and the woman who does my hair started telling me about her spiritual leader/psychic. She told me that the psychic gives her advice and sometimes is able to predict situations in precise detail. I got the sense that the predictions were a bonus and not the crux of that relationship. What she really got from the psychic was advice, support, and something to believe in.

Coincidentally, I recently met up with a good friend from San Francisco who is completing her training to be a life coach. She explained the craft to me in a lot of the same terminology that the hairdresser used to explain her psychic. She said that it is about helping people make the right choices in order to attain those things in life that are the most important to them.

Both the hairdresser and my friend believed that I could benefit from this kind of guidance. To be more precise, they believed that anyone could benefit from this kind of guidance, not just me. I don't think I was wearing an "I'm lost - need help" expression on my face but it is conceivable.

So I put it out there to you, dear reader: Do you believe in spiritual leaders and life coaches or is this all just new age kaka?

I asked a friend of mine about this and he put it this way, "Think about the way modern life is now compared to the simplicity of our hunters and gatherers existence. Our society may have evolved faster than we are emotionally equipped to deal with. Maybe we all need a little help with that." I'll admit, my modern life changes faster than I am usually prepared to deal with. But do I want predictions about what is next? As tempting as that sounds, I don't think I could handle the anticipation. I think all I really want is what most people want: something to believe in.

To be clear, I don't always listen so intently to the hair and makeup artists at work. If I did, I would believe that my eyebrows are an eyesore and that I need Botox. But I read something this week that made me more amenable to this advice. In 2007, Kurt Vonnegut was asked to give a talk in Indiana. Two weeks after he finished writing the speech, he took a nasty fall on his head, which left him mentally unable to deliver it. His son Mark Vonnegut delivered and published the speech. Here is an excerpt:

"I asked Mark a while back what life was all about, since I didn't have a clue. He said, 'Dad, we are here to help each other get through this thing, whatever it is.' Whatever it is."

Truth be told, I don't really believe in psychic advisers for myself. But that doesn't mean that they aren't useful for someone else in their own attempt to get through their "whatever it is." I think I'll just keep on getting through my "whatever it is" too. Maybe I don't need the goggles after all.

Social Studies In New York

In my continued effort to be social, I would like to invite any and all in the New York area to a few events.

Tomorrow I will be giving a toast at the Girls in Tech New York Launch Party. I attended the launch party for this group last year in San Francisco and I am honored that I was asked to speak briefly at the New York launch tomorrow. I have no idea what I am going to say yet but hopefully I will come up with something witty and inspiring to fill my allotted three minutes by tomorrow night.

The second event is one that I have been anticipating for nearly two months now. The lovely Amber Mac and I will be hosting a Meet-up here in Manhattan. Amber and I became friends over the summer and this gathering was her brilliant idea. I am flattered to be on the ticket with her. I'm her Sarah Palin! Details of the event are here. I hope you can come! I can't exactly offer to buy a round but since we will be at an Irish bar, I can try to prepare a limerick. (Disclaimer: That's a lie. Under no circumstance will I recite a limerick.)

If You're Going To DEMO, Say Hi To Me!

I just got adjusted to East Coast time but now I'm being shipped back to the West Coast this weekend to cover DEMO. Don't give me any grief for not attending TechCrunch50! I just go where I'm told. The lovely Kara Tsuboi will be covering TechCrunch50 for CNET TV.

The last time I covered DEMO, it was in 2006 and I was a staff writer for PC Magazine. I was duped by the fake Bono, which marked my first ever Valleywag appearance. I spent the rest of the conference looking for battery power for my Lenovo (I was a PC user back then), and hiding out in my hotel room ordering room service. Come to think of it, that time zone adjustment was worse because I had just returned from a vacation in Italy the day before. This time should be easier. Plus, I intend to make friends! I have been told by the powers that be here at CNET that I must attend the mixers. No room service for me!

You can find my coverage of the event on CNET TV starting on Monday but if you're going to DEMO in person, be sure to say hello to me. I'm trying to be social, remember?

"I sort of have a foreign oil-esque dependence on companionship that I need to shed." - Kevin Pereira

I am back from my vacation and being ricocheted around my apartment. I am unable to walk in a straight line after last night's red eye from San Francisco to New York. I took a nap but I truncated it at just two hours because I want to try to readjust to East Coast time. I'm tired and discombobulated so please use those facts to forgive the emotive nature of this blog post.

In going through my RSS reader, (which I forced myself not to check while I was on vacation), I found a video post by my friend Kevin Pereira, host of G4TV's Attack of the Show. Kevin spent the weekend exploring the lovely city of Philadelphia. I casually follow the random ramblings of his blog and Twitter posts but in this particular video, he said something that made me think:

"I sort of have a foreign oil-esque dependence on companionship that I need to shed."

I haven't spoken to Kevin in a few months so I'm not sure exactly what this means for his life but as I leave behind my San Francisco friends and family once again, I am left thinking about what it means for mine. I spend so much time on my career that companionship is something that usually falls by the wayside. I am typically able to convince myself that it is an acceptable trade off at this juncture in my life but the truth remains that I don't have a "foreign oil-esque dependence on companionship." In fact, I may have quite the opposite. So who is better off? Kevin and his over-dependency or me and my over-independency? What if Barbra Streisand is right? What if people who need people really are the luckiest people in the world? If that is true, I'm hosed.

But I turned 30 three days ago. I am older and trying like mad to become wiser. I was so darn happy to be around my family and friends in San Francisco this week and I realized that I do need people. I spent 10 days with my loved ones and we miraculously did not kill each other! On the contrary, we enjoyed each other immensely. Of course, there was plenty of flowing wine to help that cause, not to mention far too many birthday events: wine tasting, water skiing, cooking, spa days, barbecuing, happy hours, and an overabundance of Mexican food, which should tide me over for a while now that I'm back in New York where there is just no such thing. You can find the Flickr album of my birthday week here.

I can't take "my people" with me to New York and I'm not ready to move back to San Francisco yet but I can learn a lesson from the insightful, albeit hungover, thoughts of my friend Kevin. Over-depedence on companionship: bad. Under-dependence on companionship: equally bad. In my thirties, I will strive to find the Goldie Locks balance for my social life and let people in a little. But not today. Today I'm holed up in my apartment. I'll be open to companionship tomorrow.