Blogging Goggles, Or The Lack Thereof
Saturday, October 11, 2008 at 11:28AM Hi Natali. You are in danger of posting something overly personal and transparent. Given that you are prone to emotional diarrhea, please answer the following questions before we allow you to publish:
1. Have you cried in the last 24 hours?
2. Have you been overly needy for your mother lately?
3. Will this post embarrass you in a few days/weeks/months?
4. Are you hoping anyone in particular will see/read this?
5. Are you sitting next to a glass of red wine and a plate of artisan cheeses?
If the answer to any of these questions is "Yes," you may not publish this post. Turn off your computer and your phone, wash off your face mask, and go to sleep. You may reconsider this post tomorrow morning after a large glass of orange juice and some peanut butter toast.
Too bad this feature does not exist because I actually can answer yes to a few of the above questions right now. Additionally, I've been up since 4 a.m. and worked this morning. I can't nap because my sister and her fiancé are sleeping in my bed since they arrived at 6 a.m. on a red-eye flight from San Francisco. I'm lying on my hardwood floor wearing my Dr. Dre headphones and listening to Donna DeLory. I'm about to wax introspective again so I'll just blame it on the lack of goggles.
I was sitting in the makeup chair this morning on the Early Show set and the woman who does my hair started telling me about her spiritual leader/psychic. She told me that the psychic gives her advice and sometimes is able to predict situations in precise detail. I got the sense that the predictions were a bonus and not the crux of that relationship. What she really got from the psychic was advice, support, and something to believe in.
Coincidentally, I recently met up with a good friend from San Francisco who is completing her training to be a life coach. She explained the craft to me in a lot of the same terminology that the hairdresser used to explain her psychic. She said that it is about helping people make the right choices in order to attain those things in life that are the most important to them.
Both the hairdresser and my friend believed that I could benefit from this kind of guidance. To be more precise, they believed that anyone could benefit from this kind of guidance, not just me. I don't think I was wearing an "I'm lost - need help" expression on my face but it is conceivable.
So I put it out there to you, dear reader: Do you believe in spiritual leaders and life coaches or is this all just new age kaka?
I asked a friend of mine about this and he put it this way, "Think about the way modern life is now compared to the simplicity of our hunters and gatherers existence. Our society may have evolved faster than we are emotionally equipped to deal with. Maybe we all need a little help with that." I'll admit, my modern life changes faster than I am usually prepared to deal with. But do I want predictions about what is next? As tempting as that sounds, I don't think I could handle the anticipation. I think all I really want is what most people want: something to believe in.
To be clear, I don't always listen so intently to the hair and makeup artists at work. If I did, I would believe that my eyebrows are an eyesore and that I need Botox. But I read something this week that made me more amenable to this advice. In 2007, Kurt Vonnegut was asked to give a talk in Indiana. Two weeks after he finished writing the speech, he took a nasty fall on his head, which left him mentally unable to deliver it. His son Mark Vonnegut delivered and published the speech. Here is an excerpt:
"I asked Mark a while back what life was all about, since I didn't have a clue. He said, 'Dad, we are here to help each other get through this thing, whatever it is.' Whatever it is."
Truth be told, I don't really believe in psychic advisers for myself. But that doesn't mean that they aren't useful for someone else in their own attempt to get through their "whatever it is." I think I'll just keep on getting through my "whatever it is" too. Maybe I don't need the goggles after all.
Reader Comments (40)
Ha ha cool set of questions there, the answer to which if "Yes" would not allow you to post in your blog :p
Natali,
That's the most introspective and embarrassing post you can produce? It's very coherent and I see nothing you should consider embarrassing. Please don't create any filters that will prevent you from publishing this kind of post in the future. I enjoyed reading it and love your work at CNET/CBS.
I loved the checklist you made for yourself before blogging!
As for the spiritual leader question. I think you are your own best spiritual leader, after wandering down a few religion's paths that is the only answer I have ever concluded to.
I don't believe in psychics, spiritual leaders, life coaches or anything along those lines. People should believe in themselves and their own abilities to accomplish what they want in life. They should put faith in their families, loved ones and those close to them who provide positive support. When it comes down to it, only people who care about your well being are going to give you that support without expecting something in return or trying to make a profit off of you.
And how can anyone think you need botox? You're only 30! Madness!
Everyone needs some way of dealing with the emotional ups and downs of day to day life. The important thing is to understand enough about yourself that you can find the way the works for you. Maybe for you it's blogging so that complete strangers can comment on your life. '-)
I loved this blog post.
I don't tend to be fascinated by stories about hairdressers, eyebrows, psychics, and botox.
But, this post transcends that to become a comment on self-awareness in life's journey... "whatever it is."
I'm totally with you on the blogging goggles, I tend write arch melodramatic drivel when depressed LOL :-) Also I would also love to have a Twitter goggles and Facebook status goggles on top of that, actually those might be more helpful to me, being at least blog posts take a while to pound out.
I think the idea of someone being able to encompass your entire life within a few sessions of advice giving are just that...people who look at it objectively. Anyone can do that in all honesty. It's just creative solving. As for psychic energy and foretelling? Not my idea of reality, but then again I'm told I'm bullheaded.
I find it's funny that there are a tonne of people out there ready to tell someone else what they are, and without even being prompted. It's a natural reaction for a human to instantly find the issue and work on the solution to it.
So in saying that, when you present a certain view point or situation or feeling or even start pining about something people instantly attack the problem. What needs to happen, and what never happens, is people need to empathize and support one another, and THEN start whittling away at an issue.
It's no surprise that just about everyone I know could give a shit less about anyone elses problems or issues past doing the bare minimum of oh no that's horrible DO THIS THIS THIS AND THIS AND THEN JUST SHUT UP ABOUT IT YOU WEAK WUSS!
Meanwhile they are crying to you about something so simple and ridiculous that you just start to put the puzzle pieces together in your own head: People are self-involved adapters. Instead of seeing it your way, they will see it theirs and push their ideas onto your problem. But you see the problem from a different paradigm than they do.
If you want something, do it. The only thing stopping you from that(and no, it's not the cliche BS of it being YOU), because you clearly want it, its everyone else.
Much like a lot of people, I'm sure you think you're pretty goddamn great for the most part. Here and there you probably attack yourself with ferocious quills and stab at the root of problems just a little too deep. But all in all, yer a pretty happen switched on hip kool kat hahaha that was cheesy I know, but levity is good.
Anyway I worry things like this are not practical and it's because the response I ever get to them is to shut up and stop whining. It's not whining, it's introspection. And as a cynic, self is everything and you constantly judge upon contrast to better yourself because you've been funneled into the world with everyone else who is fighting for their dreams, wishes, aspirations, wants, needs, spiritual 'guidance', etc.
It took me 14 years to find a band because no one would jam with me. Why? Intimidated? Didn't like my style? Think I'm a douchebag? I thought they were douchebags?
Maybe...but I found some of the greatest guys I could have ever wished to be in a band with. No severe egos or uptight BS. All because I did it. No one else helped me because they are too self-involved.
This can be seen in every day life. Like people who don't hold the door for you, or let you in while driving, or cut in line, or feel their voice has a better canter and should be louder than the rest.
It's natural competition. And how you embrace that is up to you. But the reason you want your mom around(if that's one of the points) is because you need someone who unconditionally just wants to support you. And honestly, sometimes you just need that support system. That's what support is! Not all this hogwash that 'superstars' spout out. It's unconditional care fully focused on you. And I'm sure with your pressures it's a good security blanket heh
Just don't blind yourself with the focus in front of you and start looking beside and behind you and see what's WITH you, instead of what's to come.
Anyway, you have your fans online that will give you a glimpse of that support. They aren't your momma!(sorry I couldnt help it hah) but they will, as you see here, give you a pat on the back and say hey man, what's goin on? Shoot, spill it, let your people talk to my people.
I've said it before, do what you feel is right, not what you think everyone thinks is right. Just don't do it because you feel you need to.
mmmmmmmmm pumkin pie...Yeah it's Thanksgiving up here and it's on my mind hahaha :D
I totally agree with sunsnapper. And everybody else in the comments. Don't wear your blogging googles. Love your work too.
Allan
my therapist friends & I feel the need to tell you that your questions are too revealing. Please back away from your laptop and call an old friend for further assistance. If an old friend is unavailable, feel free to join the droves of newly-unemployed investment bankers at the Zoloft counter. J/k. Good post
Natali,
You defintely have a point. I just started blogging, and I think that what should be added is that if you are not by your desktop computer sitting in an upright position or if you are in your car waiting for your friend, and you are typing this on your mobile phone, STOP TYPING!
BTW, love your work, keep it up.
Raffa
I think your answer was the most logical. I don't believe in psychics, or for that matter "life coaches", but I also see no need to go around telling everyone else that they cannot or should not seek such help if they wish. I think we all feel out of control, or perhaps just overwhelmed by the rate at which things change, but that too is natural. We all have our own ways of working through them as well. Some of us may blog about it while sitting on the floor listening to music, others may decide to get away from reality spending a night out drinking with friends before posting an unfortunate blog entry. I guess that's the difference, the fact that we can now so easily broadcast these things far and wide with the internet, and the delete and undo buttons don't always work as well as we would like.
BTW just to address your last point(I've been thinking about it), if you are starting to lean towards accepting advice like, "Your eyebrows are eyesores and you should take Botox" then you are becoming susceptible to influence from others who offer their insight on something that only you have.
Remember the context of that quote Natali. It's his son talking to his father. Again I come back to the unconditional. Your hair and makeup people are performing a task on you and are deep rooted in the aesthetic as their jobs. Please don't listen to that as personal guidance haha
Lean on someone, just make sure that they are looking in the same direction as you.
A beautiful post Natali. I don't believe in the "need" for a spiritual leader or a spiritual coach, but I do believe that we human beings have a part of us that is inclined toward the divine beyond ourselves. As a Christian pastor, I believe that path is through the person of Jesus of Nazareth, but I have also seen how other forms of spirituality connect people with the divine.
Ultimately, I believe that the spiritual is best experienced within community and not the individual path of "just find the inner guide within you." I think that it is through the voices of others around us that we most often hear the voice of God in the world and in our lives. This does not necessarily mean having "one spiritual leader" in life, but instead becoming a part of a community of faith and sharing in the communal journey of faith.
There is so much in this post that hits home. A few weeks back I began cutting back on my blogging and Twittering because there were too many times when my motivation for writing seemed muddied. It needed a dose of self-awareness. Maybe it's a sense of self-awareness that people are wanting when they reach out to psychics, life coaches, friends or family. In it's most passive state life can have little direction. People react and wait for it to come to them. The opposite is when life becomes too omni-directional. For the achievers among us, there are too many choices and too many things to do. In order to keep sane, it's easy to apply the hedgehog principle, focus on a path, stick to it and don't question it. But there's still no greater clarity on "whatever it is" really is. It's an illusion. So we need people to challenge us to be self-aware about our choices and other aspects of our lives. Everyone will find this counsel in different places. And when we find ourselves "helping each other get through this thing, whatever it is," we're lucky to be reminded that that is exactly what it is all about.
Fantastic post Natali - interesting, informative, funny and very well structured too. As others have said, if that's the most introspective rambling you can do then you have nothing to fear.
Personally, I'm of the opinion that a life coach is kinda like a psychiatrist but without the training. Someone who'll listen to your problems and tell you what you need to hear. Give you that kick up the backside that you can't give yourself - and then meet you again next week and expect you to have some progress to report. If you have the right friends, an evening on the sofa with a good friend and a bottle of red wine can sometimes substitute. But these days everybody's too busy and too wrapped up in themselves to do that - so we have to pay someone to do it for us.
P.S. I'm kinda with Kurt. I think life is about making a positive difference to other people's lives... although I'm rather concerned about it being so self-referential.
Jon
You have a great head on your shoulders Natali, you have sense that is baron in most minds. That, however, does not mean that a person with such a stong internal compass doesn't need direction from a friend or mentor from time to time.
The human brain is only capable of thinking through so many situations when you may encounter a problem or delay in life. Sometimes a pat on the shoulder, or a verbal solution from a friend is all you need to get your compass pointing North again.
Why does this post feels more like the true "YOU", then some episodes of "Loaded". You should blog (or use your private diary) more often, I feel like the written expression is your life coach.
Well I suppose that some people may feel the need for them, or can't survive without them. But how much analysis/prediction can you fit into a life?
Why not just fit life into your life? Go live it, not wait to see if someone is right or wrong about it. You can be TOO organised and plan yourself into nothingness.
Oops...there goes my life...I knew it well, but planned it too much.
I sorta roll my eyes at the whole email goggles thing, Google are taking things a little too far.
Soon there will be twitter goggles and texting goggles and your favourite, blog goggles.
Introspection is great IMNSHO, and friends will be friends, 'cos that's their job. But there is a thing like too much control/planning/coaching.
Great to see a blog post from you too, twitter with substance.
That'll do.
Michael
I understand the desire for the "goggles" feature, I've blogged a few things that I've felt the need to go back and delete due to embarrassment, however upon reading the comments left, I've sometimes discovered them to be some of my best writing.
I think your posts are thoughtful, genuine, and sincere. I think that's why you have such a huge fan base. Your fans understand you, relate to you, and can empathize with you. That's an incredible talent. Additionally, your postings and book reviews, inspire me to write more, and I thank you for that.
As for the life coach, I've used a life coach in the past. I've also read dozens of self-help books, and listened to tapes. I think there is validity to a having a life coach; a person who can look at our lives objectively and point out the things we see through emotionally tinted lenses.
I've learned from these resources to pull myself aside from time to time, and review my decisions objectively myself, and then make better decisions.
The process has led me to a better career, and a happier personal life. So I've grown from that experience.
Take care.
Hey Natali,
While I don't believe in psychics I do believe that people need emotional anchors in our lives. By that I mean some stable force that helps us get perspective on our lives, not that they drag us down emotionally.
These people are usually our parents, our closest friends, or our children. For others it could be a "spiritual" person, like a priest or rabbi.
People who don't have real anchors look to find them else where, and usually get in trouble. These are the people susceptible to psychics, cult leaders, and TV evangelists.
From your previous "goggles" blogs, I can tell you have a close tie to you family. They are your anchors, so when you are away from them too long you feel disconnected.
Life coaches are a tricky thing. While it's always good to have a mentor it's important to have one that really knows you and has your best interest at heart. I've seen too many life coaches who try and mold all of their "players" the same way, especially if they are a professional coach and not just a close friend. But if you can find a coach who really aligns well with your true goals then it can be a good thing.
BTW, if it's encouragement that you need, you have it from me and many other CNET fans. You really know your stuff and you present it well. In a sea of "booth babes" with web cams, you stand out as someone with true geek/tech cred. Hang in there!
Natali,
Putting my psychic hat on for a second, I predict you will soon be receiving mysterious gifts of red wine and cheese from all around the world...
BTW for interest's sake, the adjective from "artisan" is actually "artisanal". So, really, you should probably be sitting next to a plate of artisanal cheeses.
Errrrrr... I can't think of anything appropriate to say after that, so please make up your own jokes!
Yeah, definitely be careful... it looks like Andy Levy is reading your Twitters, so I'm sure he's reading this blog too!
I think the main thing in life is just to believe in yourself and I don't think any amount of life coaching can really help with that it's just something you have to come to terms with on your own.
You come across as a really smart, warm and genuine person so I don't think you should have any problems with that.
As for the Botox, it’s hard to improve on perfection :-)
Great introspective. I have been at the"alter of adult beverage" myself and should have rolled my chair back from the computer. It is very interesting though....that at those very times reasons for joy and sadness become very clear and easy to write about....to our dismay....lol. If we only knew what "what it...is" ....is...or was...but please not what it will be. I have enough of those moments during Christmas.